To:Donato Toledo
Fri, Jan 6, 2017 at 3:44 PM Preface to book
You live in two different holographic worlds within one Universe. Each world is a separate system. Each world has its own philosophy and feelings. One is based in love and the other in fear. Understanding these two systems helps you understand yourself in conjunction with the world you live in. These two worlds operate simultaneously all the time and you move in and out of them as you create your life experience and manifest your future. My goal is to help you step back to see clearly these different worlds. By stepping back you can see the bigger picture and make your best choice.
This book is about Emotionology’s System Model. Emotionology has unique tools and models that provide fast effective ways of changing emotions and thinking so that you move forward in the most positive, happy, productive way. Through understanding Emotionology and using new tools you will have the ability to constantly create a better world for yourself. The goal of this book is to open your eyes to these two separate worlds so you can add new possibilities to your life.
I started working with people in the 1980s after becoming a trainer in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). As an NLP trainer, I had a study group that met once a week. Patterns began to show up as individuals worked on their issues. When a person would start working on an issue that was considered a problem or a negative feeling, we would add new skills and ideas to his/her way of thinking and looking at the situation. Over time, the patterns of positive or negative ideas, feelings, and behaviors became obvious as two separate ways of thinking and systems.
There developed a positive list of ideas and skills which, when added to any situation or person, fixed any problem and turned situations into what looked like a perfect world. This list, such as confidence, patience, love, worked together as a system. As time went on all the problems that people were trying to get rid of, fit together as another system, that we termed the X System and all the solutions and ideas we used to fix those problems became an opposite system, the Y System.
When the Y System is applied, it makes dysfunction situations and people functional. We would ask questions like, “What would give that person wholeness? What information did that person need to act in a different way? What ideas would have made the situation work out better?” Over time two different models developed that seemed to oppose each other. Originally, we called them the positive vs. negative models but later they became for us the X Model and the Y Model. The reason for this change was because the things we don’t like aren’t necessarily negative – they just are a different way of viewing the world and being in the world.
In the X System there are both positives and negatives relative to that system. The X System is where our major learning comes from. Every bad feeling we experience comes from either an X System situation or thinking in the X System.
When I did workshops for groups and companies, I would term these same models the “Autocratic vs. The Synergistic” system. When individuals came to me because they had a feeling they didn’t like, it became negative vs. positive. Motivational workshops at the time were the “threat and fear-based motivation vs. encouragement and inspired motivation” model. Working with families, it was the “Functional vs. the Dysfunctional” model. For culture change it could be “Autocratic vs. Collaborative.” Doing workshops around money I would term it the “Scarcity vs. Abundance” model. When I worked with a church group, I called it “The Darkness vs. The Light.” In the end, because they really are just different names for the same model, I simplified it to be the X vs. Y Model. Different situations have similar overriding formats. The X Model is a generalization of all these different situations from the negativity or dysfunction in an individual’s thinking to how a large organization thinks or how governments operate.
These two very different ways of thinking create very different results. Each model is a systematic way of thinking and acting that works as a system. A model in operation is a system. Therefore, we call it the X & Y Systems Model. Thinking creates a way of operating – a system. Another way to say this is to say a way of thinking and being in a system contributes to the system. Each individual in any organization is part of the sum total of how that system operates.
Although there are two seemly opposite systems it doesn’t mean one is bad and the other good. It doesn’t mean one is right and the other wrong. They just operate the way they do and we have a choice of what we want to feel and how we want to live and express ourselves – we have a choice to operate one way or the other. We have a choice of which system we want to create our life out of daily. None of us are only one system or the other. We are both and use both.
If we block our positive feelings, we will feel numb. We can’t block the positive without blocking all the feelings. Staying numb is a way to stay out of both worlds.
When we step back to neutral, observing ourselves, we are not in either system. In order to do a process on an X System situation to get the learning out of it, it is important to go to observer position to do the process and fix the emotions. We can learn through observation and comparing the difference between these systems.
RachFri, Jan 13, 2017 at 8:40 PM
I wasn’t trying to preach to you or anything. I was hoping you were feeling ok and was worried about you. Miss you my friend…Mary
Fri, Jan 13, 2017 at 9:56 PM
Miss you too Mary. I just needed time to gather my thoughts and to try to understand and figure things out on my own. Actually, I think I’m doing better now. Getting stronger each day. Scotty talked to Dave and then told me what they talked about and he himself thought. So anyways let’s get together next week sometime and I know I have to work on the blaming thing too.
Fri, Jan 13, 2017 at 10:00 PM
So glad to hear from you and that you are doing better. Yea!
To:David Keirsey
Fri, Jan 13, 2017 at 10:06 PM Hi Dave
I heard from Rachnee and am glad to hear she is doing better. Evidently your other son told her that you two talked and that made her feel better. She worries so much about Derek.
In thinking about that one video on pain and contrasts….when she is good she is really good but when she is bad she is really bad. LOL M
To:Mary Hallgren
Sun, Jan 15, 2017 at 12:28 PM from D
Thanks Mary for the book. I have read some of it, to the Kid stuff, when obviously it became painful to read because some lessons are HARD to learn (and relearn): I have to take responsibility for my choices and mistakes and learn from them and try use that knowledge to go forward. Letting things go, accepting what happened, choosing “your” fights. This “learning process” ain’t comfortable ;-). Learn, Unlearn, Learn. LOL
I will have to reread and finish your book in intervals. The truth: I can’t handle the truth. Work in progress.
Re: my father’s tapes as transcripts, I have the first three tapes transcribed, and I can send them to you if you want. I have a person (an Artisan) transcribing them, so he “finishes them when he finishes them” I will pay him for them when he finishes. My father’s tapes serve as one of my basis of understanding how people operate; however, it’s theory not practice.
Yes, the two videos relate to Rach, Derek, and me. Relations complicated. No, to me suicide was not a significant aspect of the Harriet Lerner video.
Yes, the pain of dealing with Rach (appreciating our journey together) helped me with my love of my life. Is “emotional pain” and unhappiness the same? No, there are at least 187 labeled “emotions” and “unhappiness” is just one of them. I found The Book of Human Emotions an interesting reference, realizing that “emotions” are not numerable, and the word “emotion” is a hammer word and an umbrella word. For example, in the book of human emotions, she mentions the emotion of “Enryo” which is a Japanese word, that I encountered while in Japan, that I “felt” long before coming to Japan but didn’t have a word in English. Some people probably have never had a feeling “like” that or very very very rarely to even to “relate to it” (whereas I had in that “ahh” moment when encountering it for the first time of recognition). Regards, Dave
https://www.amazon.com/Book-Human-Emotions-Encyclopaedia-Wanderlust/dp/1781251290
https://davidmarkkeirsey.wordpress.com/2014/08/23/hammer-words/
Mon, Jan 16, 2017 at 3:16 PM
Don’t be so hard on yourself. After the age of 7 you have very little influence over most decisions a child thinks. Thinking creates feelings and feelings drive behavior. I didn’t write that book to blame anyone as so many things contribute to how a person turns out. I mainly want to help society learn some things that contribute to how a kid turns out.
Although we have to take responsibility for our part in sharing all experiences and learning for ourselves of what we each need to learn, it is up to other people that we share our life journey with, for them to learn what they need to learn too. I think one of the hardest things is that we sometimes do put others in situations that cause them pain and can’t do anything about the fact that we participated in giving them some hard learning or bad feelings. It still is their choice and up to them to take charge of their life. It was their choice to be there too, however unconscious the choice was. There is only so much any of us can do. We can’t undo the past or make it different for others. So, although it is painful for me to watch my kids when they have to learn something the hard way, now realizing that if I had been different and known more at an earlier time, I have to accept that each journey is perfect for everyone whatever it turned out to be. Acceptance and the willingness to learn and move on, is all we can do. Live and let live is all we can do for others. We each can only learn for ourselves and let others learn for themselves.
Remember that you have a conscious mind, and another mind called the body’s mind. The body’s mind is a programming that we can change through the tools that I use. You haven’t given yourself the opportunity to learn much about these. The rational mind is subject to the body’s mind in that the body’s mind is all about chemistry and how the hypothalamus part of the brain decides what we feel. (not us rationally, feelings are not rational) . The body transfers electrically and chemically through body emotions are not rational. Thankfully that can all be fixed but it is up to the individual to make this happen. Chemistry can be changed through mental processes but not through just talking about it. This is all in my books found on Smashwords and hopefully this week on Amazon.
By the way, I want to put up a simple one-page website with a shopping cart. Could you ask Derek how much he would charge to do that? Does he already know how? It might be a first job for him. I would like to read any of your father’s transcripts if you have them Thanks Mary
Published XY book on Smashwords
Mon, Jan 16, 2017 at 11:57 AM Re: Car repairs
From what I learned from you was that I needed to wait for my insurance to get the police report so the other side would have me do an estimate with them before going ahead. I am not spending money out of pocket on this as it was entirely their fault. So, I believe Farmers closed the case for now for me paying for it.
On Sunday, January 22, 2017 5:10 PM, Donato Toledo wrote:
I already did put a NCX since the first day we publish this Mary 🙂 way back 2013 I think, The title should change by now because I already update it as “How to raise back yard chickens – 38 tips to raising chickens & ducks”, I also change the cover that doesn’t cover the house of the chicken and the duck, please check it out again and let me know what you think Mary. Thanks and have a great day Mary, I’m going to bed now, talk to you tomorrow. God bless!
Sun, Jan 22, 2017 at 6:58 PM Reference check
Some people named Joshua and Brittahi Wright want to rent a house of mine in Denver CO and say they are part of the back40farm group. Can you tell me if this is true? I would appreciate a response.
To:Lucky Dolan
Wed, Jan 25, 2017 at 5:02 AM
Heading to Denver tomorrow.
I was working with Elizabeth in FL on editing and all of a sudden, she didn’t answer her phone for several days. Found out she had a slight stroke. They caught it in time so there is no permanent damage. She will need time to heal. Wish I could drive to FL to visit her.
Mon, Jan 30, 2017 at 10:38 AM
Sorry Joe, emergency came up and can’t make it.
Mon, Feb 6, 2017 at 12:27 PM
Enjoyed reading these Dave. Too bad he isn’t alive today to finish his work. See you Wednesday.
On Thursday, February 2, 2017 9:53 PM, David Keirsey wrote:
Transcripts of Dr David Keirsey’s lectures on the History of Madness
Communicating with Ed via phone and email while in San Diego or driving back and forth
Mon, Feb 20, 2017 at 8:52 PM
Yes Julie, everything is good. The weather has been unusually rainy, and storms and they aren’t over yet. Haven’t kept up with Denver much but it seems you have been having some pretty good weather. Working on the next book “In search of Love” and coming along with it. This one takes a special head space and focusing on love and all the forms of it really opens up my thinking. LOL I just realized I missed a webinar that I was going to listen to about thyroid. Have you looked into that much? Mary
To:Ed Lenca
Wed, Feb 22, 2017 at 11:31 PM Here is our wireless order attached.
Mon, Feb 27, 2017 at 8:40 PM Hi Catherine, I saw a dr here I really liked but he is too expensive. I guess I will wait a little and check back with the one near you. How is everything going with you? I went through the south drive to get back to SD last month and tried to connect up with Margery. It turned out that she was on the other side of town and backwards from where I called her from, and it would have delayed my trip too many hours. She didn’t have enough interest to drive over and meet me. Oh well. I have finished 2 books that are online and hardcover. Mary
Mon, Feb 27, 2017 at 10:17 PM Hi Catherine,
Loved the photos and glad you were able to take a great vacation and have a nice man to do it with. Yes, I have completely recovered from what happened to me. I have been mostly focusing on getting these books printed and online. The last one is giving me lots of trouble trying to finish it. I guess God just hasn’t given me all the info for it yet. Writing is hard work.
Once I can have these done, I can start marketing and making more money so any surgery will have to wait. My goal right now is to get this last one done asap. The title is “In Search of Love – Finding the Light” Hope we can get together this summer unless the renters don’t work out and I have to come back sooner. Mary
Wed, Mar 1, 2017 at 8:03 PM Hi Julie,
My renters skipped town, so I am headed back to Denver tomorrow night or the next morning.
I have the books in print so want to get with you while I am there. See you soon, Mary
On Monday, March 6, 2017 11:16 AM Mary,
When are you coming back? I’m hoping to see this maybe this weekend. It’s incredible this year! Rach
Thu, Mar 9, 2017 at 8:33 PM Hey Rach
Paul is helping me tomorrow and hopefully I will have it rented this weekend. I will be back the latest on Wednesday for your apt. Would like to leave Saturday but depends. Mary
Thu, Mar 9, 2017 at 8:35 PM
Ugh Some people don’t understand the unintended consequences of their decisions.
Mon, Apr 3, 2017 at 12:17 PM
Laura, do you do facebook so we can keep in touch?
I found this old email and want to connect. I have been off and on in San Diego helping my son start a business for the last 1 1/2 years, very busy driving back and forth, and heading back to Denver the end of the month. Mary
Sun, Apr 9, 2017 at 5:35 PM Dear Rach,
I was thinking about you today partly because I am noticing something about myself since my last trip to Denver. I took all my supplements with me to Denver and because of this no longer have the pituitary or adrenal support products that I was using. What I am noticing is that I am more irritated more quickly than normal. It could also be hormones as I left my patches at home, but I mostly think it is the lack of supplements. I blew up at a mistake in an online order last week. I hadn’t felt that level of anger for years. And I find myself getting quickly irritated at my phone. Anger is a sign of lower resistance and less energy besides all the emotional issues to work on. I am sure I am reliving the experience to help me have compassion for others or to learn something more.
I do understand anger. I used to have a high level of anger and feel bad that I triggered that in you as it is such a bad feeling. My stepping away is a way of being there for you by NOT being there when you are angry at me. I know you needed some space and there was nothing it seemed I could do or say that was right for you or could fix it.
Anger is also a warning feeling that I see goes with being sick and can also make one sick if left unchecked. The chemistry of anger is very toxic to the system. Back in the 80s I got cervical stage 4 cancer and I felt it was due to an anger problem and have seen that with others. I am currently very worried about my older daughter. She is always a bomb waiting to go off. I do understand, as frustrating as kids are, we never stop caring. Their pushing away is probably just to help us let go.
Relative to you… have you noticed that you have unleashed your anger at several of your long-term friends? Although warranted, could it also be a warning of some chemistry being off? I know you have been recently sick with that cold and that has its affects too until you get your resilience back. I am heading back to the health food store to replace the products I was previously taking to see if that helps me.
I wanted to give you time to process and take a break from me. Sorry to have created that issue for you as that was never my intention and is a real problem when working with clients. Because I am working on Derek through and with Dave, I want to be sure you know I am open to any advice or anything you see that needs to be addressed.
I didn’t know, until Dave related this info, how both of you are actually afraid of Derek. He has thought of putting new locks on his doors. I get it about fear. I have been there too with Ed. It is good you are leaving for Denver letting Dave be the one to handle this without you. When do you plan on leaving? I have seen in Dave a new appreciation for you. You have woke him up and he actually appreciates that.
I will head out sometime before the end of this month and am chomping at the bit and trying to stay in the process while waiting for Hans to make up his mind on where to move. I also have to wait for some equipment to be delivered on Monday for me to fix my own bridge that I broke.
I broke my bridge when I was asleep at a rest stop and in the middle of the night and woke up suddenly when Ed called me whacking my front teeth with a bottle and broke my bridge.
So, I was thinking and questioning how you are…perhaps worried about your mammogram results, and if that is affecting you? I hope there has been a good outcome for you. I want to know if you are having health issues and help any way I can. I do have concerns for my friends. I want to be there for my friends. My passion is helping people.
I just contacted an old friend in FL who had cancer several years ago and was relieved to find out that he and his wife are doing great. I think I am going to travel through FL from here to visit people I haven’t seen for some time. You never know when the last time is going to be to see them. You are a good example of someone that knows how to keep up with old friends. I wish I had done that all my life too. Mary
Wed, July 28, 2017, Christine, It is 100% today here today. I stopped in to see Ed and found him unconscious upstairs in the barn. Called Paul to help me move him into the front house since the renters have left. Way too hot to be in the barn now. He doesn’t want to be in the house unless I move back. We are talking. Still want to come to FL to visit. Love you, Mary
Tue, May 9, 2017 at 7:03 AM
Barbara, I am sure you are very busy with insurance claims right now and my car did get some dents yesterday, but I am not planning on a claim since I have a friend in FL, when I go for a visit, that can fix them.
I do have a concern though; I was supposed to get a refund for cancelling the insurance when I sold that other car but have not heard anything. Can you get back to me on this through email and also send me a new insurance card? Thanks, Mary
Tue, May 9, 2017 at 7:21 PM
I don’t know which credit card they put it on…will have to check.
Anyway, yesterday parked at home in Lakewood when the hail hit, my car got a lot of dents in the top and one side. I don’t want to make a claim yet as I want to see if someone that I know in FL can fix it without a claim. I have been planning to make a trip there in a month.
I also have a 500 deductible so need to get an estimate of how much this might take. I heard on the news that you have to report it in one day, so I wanted to let you know. I also have pictures. I would prefer to not make a claim so want to have time to check out my options, so it doesn’t affect my insurance. I am just letting you know this has happened in case it is more than I think it is. Thanks, Mary
Fri, May 12, 2017 at 5:54 PM Hi Lynne
Looking forward to reading it. Thanks for the recommendation in reading.
I am still here in Denver. Up until today it was too cold to do much outside or the weather was bad, now it is too hot. Wow, leave it to Denver for extremes. Hope to leave for FL around the 22nd. Hope you have been well. Mary
Looking to buy a new furnace. Working with clients Derik, Dave, and Rach
Thu, May 25, 2017 at 10:38 AM
In dealing with media, you must conserve your anonymity until you are ready to spend it. And then when you spend it, spend it big. And remember it is publicity to achieve a position in the prospect’s mind.
May 25, 2017 Finished 2 books. “Help for the Victim Entitlement Epidemic” and, “Designing a system that works”
Sun, Jul 2, 2017 at 8:12 AM
If the chickens are still available, I am interested in 3 or 4 of them. Please text or call
July 17, 2017 From Anna H
I will meet you over there in the morning. I have a bad situation with my health insurance being cancelled and I didn’t even know it bc i had paid for it. I’ll tell you tomorrow. It seems criminal or illegal what they have done. I felt pure rage today. It was crazy. Anna
Remember, everything works out in time. See you tomorrow. M
Sat Aug 12
2366
Depart SAN DIEGO, CA (SAN) on Southwest Airlines at 06:00 PM
Arrive in DENVER, CO (DEN) at 09:15 PM
|
||||||||||||||||
AUG 19 Took house pics to plan to rent. Problems with renters not paying utilities
Tue Sept 12 flight delayed
| Fort Lauderdale, FL FLL | Denver, CO DEN |
| 8:40 PM 9:05 PM | 10:58 PM 11:23 PM |
Granddaughter getting married in AR. Another trip.
Cole/Holt Wedding 10/28/2017
Rehearsal Dinner- At Noodles Italian Kitchen, 3748 North Mall Ave, Fayetteville, October 27, FRIDAY at 6:00 pm (Wedding party)
St Catherine’s at Bell Gable- 3:00 pm gates open to St. Catherine’s’, girls and guys need to be dressed and ready, First Look will be first inside the Chapel, then pictures of groomsmen and bridesmaids, flower girls and ring bearer, wedding party pictures at 3:01 pm sharp!
Family pictures at 3:30 pm at St. Catherine’s (front of the chapel) please by on time- for all events. All photos will be completed by 4:00 pm. So we can be ready for line up and guest seating.
Ceremony at 5:00 pm- St. Catherine’s Bell Gable, 2140 N. Stone Chapel Lane, Fayetteville, AR 72704 (family will be seated in the front 3-4 rows on each side)
Reception- 5:45 pm or immediately following ceremony/after group pictures- Fayetteville Town Center, 15 W. Mountain Street, Fayetteville, AR 72701 (parking in the rear of building, underground secure parking) we have to be off the property by 6:00 pm!!
STAY BRIDGE- 1577 W. 15th, Fayetteville- Hotel offers a hot breakfast daily, in-door pool, and fitness center.
From Marcie Cole
Sun, Oct 22, 2017 at 9:02 PM
I thought I had an email with a picture of a dress you wanted me to wear to the wedding, but I can’t find that email or text anywhere. Miki and I will be leaving Tuesday sometime. Was there a picture I am missing? Love Mom
Evidently I lost track of Donato and am working with George on the computer now
On Wed, Oct 25, 2017 at 9:07 PM,
Mary, You can upgrade to QuickBooks Online. I think QuickBooks Essentials may be a good fit for you but I need to know what all you do in Quicks Pro. Thanks, Andrew
Fri, Oct 27, 2017 at 10:51 AM
Thanks Andrew
I’m in AR for my granddaughters wedding. Hope you guys are doing well
To:G. Miller,Mary Hallgren Wed, Nov 1, 2017 at 7:50 PM
I don’t have the one for the book “Emotionology – How to improve your EQ”. I will have to do a write up on each book. I can’t seem to find “Designing a System that Works”. right now. I know it is on Diggity. We will need a short and long description. Where to order how much and the training brochure I might be able to get back to you tomorrow night. Flying out in the am.
| Departure Nov 15, 2017 | |||
| United 231 | San Diego (SAN) | ||
| 2h 23m duration | 5:55pm | ➜ | Denver (DEN) |
| Seat Economy / Coach | Terminal 2 | 9:18pm |
| Sun, Nov 19 | ||
| American Airlines 1634 | Los Angeles (LAX) | San Diego (SAN) |
| Denver (DEN) | Los Angeles (LAX) | 10:29am |
| 6:40am | 9:35am | Terminal: 2 |
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 at 11:44 AM Getting over being pissed at myself
Rach, I get mad at myself for things I do and forget to do. Today Rach and I were going to pick persimmons. I realized I didn’t have the check with me as we passed the bank. I was right there…why didn’t I put that in my purse? The only way I get past feelings like this is to refer to my belief that there’s something good about everything. One can never know what a moment in tune is preparing you for. Look for the positive. M
| Departure Nov 29, 2017 | |||
| United 1982 | San Diego (SAN) | ||
| 2h 22m duration | 10:30am | ➜ | Denver (DEN) |
| Seat Economy / Coach | Terminal 2 | 1:52pm |
Problem with person who stole my checks to cc out of PO in Lakewood and cashed them at King Soopers. Doing my own research since I can’t seem to get recovery.
To King Soopers
Addresses for John Cooke are 11429 W 17th Place Denver 80215 and 3741 Allison St #3 Wheat Ridge, CO 80033
Address for Mimi Cooke 303-238-0091 7259 W Kentucky Dr. Lakewood Apt E 80226
I don’t think John Cooke would have cashed those altered checks unless he knew the person that brought them in to be cashed. I hope that you find this case worth investigating as our mail is getting stolen and someone is doing it. The King Soopers that John works at talked to him today (picture below) and says they are turning it over to their security department and are checking the camera footage. They need to check for Nov 5-8 when it was cashed. I have talked to store managers Jeremy, Josh (this one thought it was a joke and almost seemed to be covering for John) and Demetreies. Josh treated me like “I” was the criminal and said I couldn’t talk to his employees anymore. I am going back to see if they were able to get camera footage of this person cashing this. They need to investigate their own employee. I need this money back. I know you won’t tell me anything but I want to know that it is being investigated so our mail is safe. I am turning this over to you except that we have put a video camera up on the post office box in front of the house. If I see anything I will report it. Please don’t let this rest.
Actually, I just found out I made a mistake on that last email, Mimi is his mother and she contacted me calling me a bully since I put on facebook that the store did nothing help me and treated me like I was the problem for wanting info on how to get my money back and find out who the person was who stole it. If no one was covering for them, why wouldn’t they help me find the person who did this instead of blocking me?
Do you actually investigate these things? I know the local police do nothing since it is federal. I really hope that you can catch the person so our mail is safe. We do have a camera up now so if there is any footage I will save it and let you know. I will be out of town so only in contact through email. I need some answer so that I just know you are working on this.
To:eCustomerCare National
Sun, Dec 3, 2017 at 8:08 PM
I bought those two money orders at King Soopers #127 November 1 and they were cashed probably a few days before Nov 9 at the same store. The cashier that took the altered checks is John Cooke. I have added his facebook account. He lives in Denver. Today the store manager was talking to him but his sister Mimi lives in Lakewood near where the checks were stolen out of the mailbox. facebook.com/john.cooke.5815 You can see a picture of them here. I paid Western Union for copies of these checks, I would think they could get better copies of the doctored money orders. As you can see the last few digits of my credit cards are still on the copies. They were severely altered and I believe it is a fake address as I have looked I need my money back.
Tue, Dec 5, 2017 at 2:34 PM
November 1st I was in a hurry to get to the airport so took your cash and stopped at King Soopers for two money orders to go to my credit cards and put them in the mailbox at 350 Harlan. Both were stolen out of the mailbox and cashed Nov 9 so I have learned about how unsecured money orders are. However after paying for copies of the doctored money orders that I attached below I noticed on them it says “Tire Removal Lawn Service” and since you are in the removal business, I wanted you to look at them to see if there is any chance you might recognize anyone connected to this. Got a new camera for outside and caught this guy stopping at the mailbox this morning. these Nest cams are really cool as they notify you if anyone stops by. Don’t trust the mail there either, the postman says all the mail is getting stolen and not to put anything in that you don’t want to lose.
On Monday, December 11, 2017, 9:31:23 PM PST, Subject: Getting back on the horse
Hey Catherine, I will be coming home for Christmas and am getting an office in Littleton.
Wed, Dec 13, 2017 at 10:08 PM
I wondered if you would pass on to people who might be interested. Here is the info on the training starting in January. It is for therapists, teachers, coaches, parents, or anyone that wants an intensive live makeover since each weekend there are about 10 techniques that students practice with each other. So they learn the tools as well as fix themselves. That way they can walk their talk.. Here is the link to the website that maybe they could just click on but I will add the info on classes and the books. All the info is on the website.
http://emotionologyinstitute.com/The upcoming training in San Diego will start January 13 & 14 and will continue the second weekend of each month for one year. In Denver, classes starts January 20 & 21 and continue on the 3rd weekend each month for one year.
You can pre-order the book, Emotionology: How to Improve Your EQ, below. It is $29.95 by itself or free with paid class registration deposit. Training overview, Tuition, and Training curriculum are to the right of the page.
BooksBooks are now available as Emotionology Philosophy: Ideas & Concepts
The book introduces a group of ideas that support happiness and a better world. It builds on a premise: We come here by choice to have a physical life and gain experience from which to learn.
Purchase revised and updated paperback direct: $9.95 Purchase ebook from Smashwords $7.95 All my book covers
Thursday Dec 14, 2017 Lynne,
I didn’t want to write on the other email. I have been thinking about you and want to catch up. I hope you are well. I am in San Diego again and coming back just before Christmas. My plan is to rent an office in Littleton the beginning of January. It is a small office to start with. Not living full time with Ed as we are still renting out the front house and the barn is too dirty so will probably stay at that office most the time. Please catch me up on your life. Miss you, Mary
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 at 2:38 PM
Hi Mary,
Thanks for getting in touch. I’d been wondering what you were up to these days.
Looks like you’ve been really busy writing to get all of those books ready. I hope you get a good turnout for your training sessions. Are you dividing your time between San Diego and Denver or mostly in one place? I’ve recently moved back to Australia. So far things are going well. I finally seem to have recovered my health and am enjoying being able to be active again. Safe travels. Hope it isn’t too cold and snowy when you get back to CO. Lynne
To:Money Order – [email protected] Wed, Dec 20, 2017 at 4:47 PM
That isn’t what I was asking you. I know I paid for these copies. I received them. They were stolen from the mail, altered and returned to King Soopers where I bought them and a guy at King Soopers cashed them for someone and here is a picture of the person that cashed them with the manager talking to him about it. It was fraud and you have all the investigation There is a federal investigation. King Soopers accepts the blame and knows they will have to take this loss. What is the next process in how I get my money back?
Wed, Dec 27, 2017 at 8:55 AM
King Soopers took all my Christmas money and money for bills which I really need. The district manager Sen Cornelius 303-742-3194 is taking full responsibility and doing their own internal investigation for the guy who cashed these heavily doctored money orders. They were kind enough to give me $100 for return of what it cost me to get copies from you and pay for some groceries but that doesn’t fix the problem. I need my money back and need you to acknowledge that King Soopers is covering this. You can continue your own investigation and King Soopers can continue theirs for who is responsible at their store, but I don’t need to be part of this. How do you plan to return my money? I do not trust the post office and need to give you a different address as I had to get a post office box for security reasons. Please return my money to Mary Hallgren 350 Harlan St, Lakewood, CO 80226
Sat, Dec 23, 2017 at 9:06 AM To Cheryl
I want to have an open discussion with you. Science doesn’t have all the answers either and you have to understand the body’s mind and would probably have to read the latest book to understand my point of view. I will discuss this more when I get back to Denver and get caught up.
To:Cheryl Spehar,Mary Hallgren Sat, Dec 23, 2017 at 5:51 PM
Hi Cheryl, I am waiting at the airport so thought I would write a little. I woke up this morning angry because I needed to say some things to my son but knew it wasn’t in the best interest of all as it probably would only make him feel worse. So, I experienced how hard it is to get over things when you can’t air them out loud and had to work on myself.
I came to SD to help my son, but I trigger emotions in him that shut him down and make him negative. I didn’t realize Hans had a polarity response to me saying things. It has not shown up before this trip in the way that it has. Remember the polarity response I used to have when I wouldn’t take my hat off? It is a total rejection to all authority. I fixed it in me so seeing it in him has taught me the other side of it. I can’t do anything about what he feels and since he won’t work on himself, the things I see that he does that makes it hard for him would only make it worse if I express it. He would only take it as me seeing him doing something wrong and reject me more. So, my only way in dealing with it is not to think rationally.
The left brain is very rational and can be very negative. My rational self wants to tell him that he had those cases for a week already and our trying to do them at the last minute only made him hate the work more. I rationally want to tell him that he has to pull up his bootstraps and get out of negative thinking and appreciate the money he made from the work last month and stop looking at what he doesn’t want and appreciate what he does have. He is always free to make a new choice. But that would only make him more negative and now that I am leaving, he will have to go it alone as I am DONE.
My rational mind has no way to get over feeling the emotions I am dealing with, but I can work on myself and say some things to myself that can help me override these feelings of disgust, judgment, and anger by saying to myself, “There is always something good about everything in the long run”, I trust that he will lean from his lessons eventually. I can only put him in the hands of faith and trust. None of this can be proved to be true. This is not scientific. I can only know this from my experience from the past. These ideas can only help me live with myself.
How would FEI work with this? Emotions take over rationality. People live or die by their decisions. What would nature say? You get eaten or starve or be eaten. Nature is cruel. Natural laws are pretty cut and dry and are not here to help us with our emotions. We can live in fear for the rest of our lives just like animals unless we use our advanced thinking. Emotions are not rational, they are chemical. An irrational part of our brain makes sense of events, and we have to deal with the chemistry it puts into the body that we experience as emotion. The difference between us and animals is we have a pre-frontal cortex that can help us change the chemistry manually through our thoughts. Now, I can explain how this process is logical (easiest in person) but unless a person has a full understanding of this, it would appear metaphysical. I am not metaphysical and don’t respect voodoo. The pre-frontal cortex along with our right brain is what allows us to think outside the box and come up with ideas that helps us override our ancient reactive brain, so we can step back into more advanced thinking, different thinking, more objective thinking so we can observe oneself and trick that part of the brain so it will put out a different chemistry. We can live in emotional pain, or we can use a few ideas to think a different way that may not change much in reality but helps us emotionally have a better quality of life chemistry wise. We are at the mercy of our chemistry. We are at the mercy of our beliefs which are pre-decisions about what we believe. If we always question all beliefs, and keep them as ideas we use, just to see if they are really useful, then we are not idiots pushing ideas that no longer serve any purpose. Beliefs are mostly opinions.
OK, I thought I had sent this and am in Denver and want to continue. After I worked on the thing with my son and spent plenty of time thinking on the plane, I realized something.
I thought my son and I were friends. I am a good friend and am very helpful. I help everybody as long as they don’t misinterpret my friendship or take advantage of it. Here is what I wrote to him while being on the plane which will explain how this really came out. I could tell he had a conflict. On the one hand he needed my help. On the other hand, I annoyed him being there and he needed his space. So, he would vacillate back and forth between frustration and niceness.
Me to Hans: We are Boarding
I know it is a huge conflict when you feel anger and Hate in Your Heart but on the other hand you think you need someone. Just know you don’t need me you’re strong, you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do everything yourself, I know your proactive when you’re free, love you Mom
Him: I don’t have hate in my heart. Love you mom. I just need to do this on my own for a while to figure out how to make it work for me. Be safe. Sorry it got heated. Sorry I was a jerk.
Me: Conflicts are always painful. Don’t worry about it you will be fine, and I am fine with it
Don’t feel bad because feeling bad keeps a person from learning just move on. Love Mom
I woke up at 4am feeling anger. I had to think about it to understand what it was about. I am a doer, an accomplisher, an organizer, a get it done person a helper. Strong opinions. It’s all me…part of my personality at this age. You experience me this way and partly like that, but have it tied to my being mother. That role is gone. I find the caretaking mother role disgusting. I never was that kind of mother. Share this with Miki.
My anger with your reactions is designed to fuel my thinking and ideas because that is what I do and what my life is about in helping people with their issues, new understanding about letting go, new determination for new adventures, which brings me more success.
That anger you felt is designed to be the fuel that brings out your determination to do it yourself, by yourself, and for yourself. It is normal and you can use it. That makes you strong.
Anger is good, it makes people take action. Your anger response was normal …just part of growing up, trying to feel independent when you already are, but a part of you lags behind, tied to the mother idea. That part needs to GROW UP
My mother behavior/model/style was always to let you kids be. Not to interfere too much. You pretty much grew up on your own. You become independent at 17.
My friend behavior/style is to be kind and helpful. I help all my friends. I do their teeth. I’m a friend they can count on. You just experienced how I am with my friends. I take care of them in many ways and keep doing that unless they misinterpret me or take advantage.
What I am trying to say is that it is my nature to be helpful to anyone partly because I hate being bored. But you took my help in a negative way. Just accept me as I am and don’t ask me back unless you can accept me the way I am like other people do.
So stop putting me in the idealized mother category (I never was that) and just let me be a friend.
You & I will know, that ALL of you understands this, and accepts me as I am, when I no longer trigger you.
Thanks for the lesson, now I can help Rach understand her problem with Derek. Stop being a Derek…
You never seemed to get that I want you to do it yourself. But I can’t seem to be any other way but helpful and if you accept my help then you aren’t doing it yourself and my help triggers you. I learned to always try to do what I can for everyone, for progress in all situations, be useful, be helpful…but with your kids that backfires.
Just landed Him: Glad you’re safe. Walking with Miki
Me: This was part of the above text but didn’t get sent because my phone died.
When the role changed for me I didn’t know it didn’t change for you. Now that I have said all that my phone is dead, I hope you can think about it and will write back your perceptions and how you see this learning.
The reason I was angry this morning and you probably felt it, was because you misinterpreted my help and kindness as mother stuff not what true friends would do. In 2006 I flew to Delaware to help Kirsten because her boyfriend had died, and she was devastated. I lost my job because of that. It cost me a lot, but I did it because she was my friend, and she could accept my friendship and not abuse my friendship.
What I did for you I would do for anyone that is a friend that I would care that much for. True friends know how to give and receive without it getting weird or at least they talk about it. I asked you if Shayla was in my shoes how you would react. But that wouldn’t happen because Shayla doesn’t have my skills. I offer a lot to friends because I have many skills. Only a few of my friends are capable of the kind of friend I can be to them.
I don’t want the mother-son relationship that doesn’t work for me. I never knew how to be a mother, but I always know how to be a friend and I hope we can grow into being better friends. Mom
So, what I was able to figure out after I worked on my feelings was that Hans was caught in the mother son relationship and the more I did for him, the more he disliked himself because he thought I was mothering him.
I have heard kids say, “my mother wants to be my friend. I don’t want her as a friend!” But the parental relationship must come to an end if one is to have an ongoing adult mutual relationship. The only option is friendship. Kids must grow up so parenting ends.
Well, this has continued into something very different than what I was writing to you in the beginning. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. It has been a very emotional day.
Mary By the way, I was not blaming the person with difficulties coming into the world. It is about getting out of blame. You may think you live in REALITY but that is subjective. M
Mary Hallgren To:Catherine Williams Thu, Dec 28, 2017 at 5:55 PM
I got back to town but my car is not fixed, and I have been without Internet so I have been out of touch. Sorry. They say my car will be fixed by the latest a week from today. So let me get back to you on a time to come to your place. Mary