Learn About Emotionology

Emotionology™ is an innovative personal coaching method that synthesizes the science of emotions from multiple fields of study including Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Neurobiology, Cultural Anthropology, Linguistics, Marketing, and Psychology.  To read an overview about Emotionology read an Introduction to Emotionology.
Emotionology deveoloped over 30 years as founder Mary Nestle-Hallgren coached thousands of clients from diverse backgrounds, which included businesses as well as individuals. To learn more about this history read Background of Emotionology.
The success of Emotionology is based in its 4 models, its philosophy and an availability to over 100 exercises & techniques that allow individuals to understand their emotions, take control of their actions, and create their dreams.  Follow these links to learn more about Emotionology:

The 4 Models of Emotionology:

  • Biochemical Model

    The Biochemical Model teaches that “feelings” are actually biochemical interactions  that connect the brain and body in a constant dance of two way communication. Scientific research has shown that feelings affect every cell in the body, and if what one is feeling on an ongoing basis is stress, anxiety, worry, confusion, overwhelm, frustration, guilt or any other body-constricting, alarm-raising feeling, then this chemistry of emotion will not only affect health and life span, but also motivation and relationships.

  • How does this happen? On the surface of every cell there are thousands of receptor molecules that act like the key hole on a door. A neuropeptide is the unique key that unlocks those doors, activating the cell. Dr. Candace Pert PhD, former Chief of Brain Biochemistry at the National Institutes of Health and author of Molecules of Emotion, discovered that cells have a receptor (key hole) for opium. This sent the scientific community scrambling to find the body’s natural painkiller, or neuropeptide that fit into the opium key hole. After all, if there was a key hole, then there also had to be a key. That key was the neuropeptide called an endorphin. This discovery confirmed that the brain, specifically the limbic system, makes chemicals (such as endorphins) that create emotional states. In other words, feelings are caused by neuropeptide chemicals, created in the limbic system and communicated to all parts of the body.

    The Limbic System is made up of the hypothalamus, thalamus, amygdala, hippocampus and several other structures. It is an ancient part of the brain and one of the first to form in the fetus.  The Limbic System works to keep the body in balance by regulating emotions, the immune system, thirst, hunger, sex drive, circadian rhythms, blood sugar levels, blood pressure, heart rate, motivation and memory. It is also responsible for converting short term memories into long term memories. Working together, the various structures in the limbic system are like movie cameras that record events in life. They take in information from all the senses (smell, taste, sight, sound and touch), attach a chemical signature (neuropeptide), and then store important information into long term memory. That chemical signature may represent joy, sexual arousal, jealousy, frustration, anger or anything that would complete the sentence “I feel …”.

    The limbic system is constantly working to quickly and efficiently match current sensory information with stored memories (each with a chemical signature). When it finds a match, the neuropeptides (or emotions) associated with those memories are sent to every cell in the body, telling the cells to do something. The resulting feeling could be anything from fear to joy and the resulting action could also be anything from hiding from danger, to playing a musical instrument. When the chemistry goes through the body its effect is almost immediate like the fight or flight response of seeing a dangerous animal on the path ahead, or barely avoiding an auto accident. This is how the limbic system translates sensory information into instinctual or automatic behavior. These rapid changes can raise the heart rate, raise blood pressure and suppress the immune system. This is how the limbic system affects our health, our motivation and the quality of our relationships, all below our conscious awareness.

    This is also how undesirable emotional patterns, buttons, or triggers that are created . To learn more about these patterns read the Thinking Model

  • Thinking Model

    How does your thinking influence your relationship to the world?  The Thinking Model explains how we are triggered and react so strongly to a seemingly inconsequential event. This model was inspired by James R. Bettman’s book “An Information Processing Theory of Consumer Choice”. Currently at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business,  Bettmans area of expertise (backed by years of research)is in understanding the decisions a consumer makes when choosing the products they buy. At the time of its publication in 1979 this book represented cutting knowledge into how to control the consumer’s decision-making powers.  The findings in this book can also be used to make sense of the thought process in general and how things are recorded in memory.  Along with the Biochemical Model that describes how we become emotionally triggered, this is significant because now that we know how our emotional triggers are created, we can change them and even get rid of them.

    To describe this model imagine a horizontal line dividing a piece of paper.  The region above the line would be everything that is happening outside of you in the world.  Everything below the line is what is happening in your mind or your memory.  It is also your feelings.  Suppose we could view an external event happening above the line in your world.  As that event happens, and you make sense of it, you start to record this in your long-term memory and we would see activity occurring below the line.

    If this external event triggers an emotional response then you may be experiencing the event from one or more of your five senses.  Your sense of smell, taste, sight, sound or touch can all trigger feelings. Let’s say this external event triggers you to feel defensive.  The only way you can know the feeling of defensiveness is if you had that feeling before or you wouldn’t have a name for it.  So, some time in your past, you felt defensive.  That past feeling is stored in the region under the line, which is also inside your brain/body, in a “thought structure”.

    Another way to understand thought structures is by taking that feeling of defensiveness and following it back to the first time you ever felt defensive.  That is your first “meaning node” of the feeling defensive.  Now if you take that feeling and take a picture of every time you ever had that feeling, and put that pile of pictures out in front of you, what you are looking at is a “thought structure”.

    When you think of being defensive as a kid, what other feelings can you name? Maybe criticized, annoyed, stupid, or not good enough.  All of these feelings have original “meaning nodes” too and their thought structures are also connected to the thought structure of defensive. That means that each of these feelings can and may be triggered multiple ways.  If something triggers you to feel defensive you may also feel “not good enough” and you are feeling more than just today’s hurt, you are accessing all the hurt you have ever had in that thought structure. That is why a person may react so strongly to a seemingly inconsequential event and together these feeling will get in the way of their ability to experience a vibrant and healthy life.

    The above process informally outlines the crux of Bettman’s theory—i.e., you construct a meaning node when an emotionally significant event occurs that cannot be related to something else.  This information and its associated feeling have been determined of enough importance to store as learning.  Our mind is much more complicated than a computer and it stores vital information with its associated strong emotional content in order to protect our survival.  It knows how to sort, categorize, generalize and retrieve information without our conscious awareness.  But when that emotional content pops up as triggers at inappropriate times, we need to update our mind’s operating system with the information it needs to work for us and not against us.

  • Systems Model – X vs Y

  • We can use many different names for The Systems Model: the uneducated ego model vs.
    the wisdom model, the negative model vs. the positive model, the autocratic model vs. the
    synergistic model, or as we have chosen the X Model vs. Y Model. The name that is used
    depends on the group to which we are referring to.  Emotionology sees the X system as the
    uneducated ego or a limited, negative, or threat based way of thinking. The Y system is
    based in love, cooperation, and doing what is best for all. These are two distinct different
    models or ways of thinking and acting.

    To illustrate the X vs. Y system, imagine Company X operates in the X system while
    Company Y operates in the Y system. (To better demonstrate this as you read, take a piece
    of paper and make two columns labeling one Company X system and the other column
    Company Y system. Add the attributes that are under each as we go along.)

    Company “X” operates from a rule dominated model while company “Y” does what works
    for the highest good of everybody. Company X is a hierarchy. As such, information is on a
    need to know basis; you have to be careful if you say too much because it may be used
    against you. You must follow the rules and are penalized if you think for yourself and then
    when something goes wrong (and something always goes wrong) they single you out as the
    problem by asking you, “What were you thinking?” Sound familiar? In Company X, what is
    right is what works for winning or competition, or what authority decides is right. It is not
    about morals (although authority may be corrupt yet you get in trouble for lying to them to
    save yourself); it is about what others think and not getting caught. If you don’t get caught,
    aren’t in trouble or on top having more power than others, then you may feel okay in this
    system, yet you will be on constant guard because success is fleeting. Nothing is lasting.
    Power is temporary.  Looks are temporary.  Being on top is temporary.
    The X System model places a high value on hitting moving targets that few can achieve and
    even fewer can maintain for any amount of time in power. People are either aggressive or
    passive; if they make a mistake it is a huge deal.  In Company X management is
    aggressive. If other people in the company are also aggressive and two people are
    aggressive at the same time, the scenario is war.  Most people who work in Company X
    either avoid conflict, or choose conflict if they are good at it—gratified by how all the others
    have to follow or shut up. Aggressive people win. If you work for Company X, you shouldn’t
    make those in power uncomfortable by being up front and you shouldn’t rock the boat.
    Company X can maintain a functional existence when those without power remain passive,
    go along with the rules (when they can figure them out) and don’t make trouble because
    those in power have no desire for change.
    In Company Y, there is no real hierarchy. You are rewarded for skills and experience.
    Everybody there knows that they all have a learning journey and all journeys are equal in
    value. Therefore, all people are valued. It doesn’t mean the journeys are the same. Each
    person is perfect for the individual journey they are on. Each person is there to learn and to
    do the highest good for the company as well as the employees which include themselves.

    They all take care of their self first, but with the consideration of others. They respect the
    choices of others. In Company Y everyone knows how to “live and let live”.
    In Company X, you expect the company to take care of you and Company X expects you to
    sacrifice for that care. It’s an exchange until something goes wrong. Then it’s the employee
    that gets left holding the bag. The authority figures in Company X can and will change the
    rules because they don’t have to follow the rules. Rules are to keep employees in line, not
    for those in authority.  Company A consistently operates this way and the end result is
    always the same, maintaining the status quo. The X System operates from greed, failure,
    sacrifice, pity, obligation, and guilt – not happiness.  Company X may make enough profit to
    continue operating, but it will never be a leader of industries for long and when the
    authorities that run the company die or leave usually the company fails to survive. Life is
    about change and the world is changing fast.
    If you have a family operating out of the X model, you usually have one parent that is
    aggressive and the other is passive. Family members must follow their rules, not question
    authority and not think for themselves. Guilt is used to make you follow the rules and if you
    look too happy, you must be doing something wrong. You are expected to sacrifice for the
    good of others, don’t expect to deserve a thing because the world is a world of lack.  We
    can also call this the scarcity model. If you believe that everything is in scarce supply, you
    will end up with even less. You might have more money but you will have less of something
    else – perhaps less health, less happiness, fewer friends, and etcetera.
    What is the bottom line in the X System?  Survival!  In Company X you only work there as
    long as you have to (unless you’ve bought into the belief that you deserve to be treated
    poorly).  The pay in Company X could never be enough because there is always some
    dissatisfaction. Some lack. In contrast, think of times when you may have worked for  less
    money just because you liked the how you were treated in the company or wanted to help
    them. You took less money because you were appreciated or because it made you happy.
    In Company X, true appreciation is intangible.
    In Company Y, everybody thinks life is a learning journey; everyone here has the
    willingness to learn with a positive attitude. They do what they can and look for the best in
    others instead of looking for something wrong or talking negative behind your back. Here
    the system is a positive model of looking for what works. Company Y’’s whole focus is
    solution based and everybody can work together as a cohesive team.  Information is open
    and upfront. There is a bigger picture that includes all. More information is better than less
    information in the Y System. There isn’t the same risk as in the X system.  People want to
    share and need to share because the diversity of viewpoints comes together in the best
    ideas, practices and strategies. And when they are looking for what works, instead of
    looking for something wrong, Company Y can quickly change direction when a strategy no
    longer makes sense. Everybody is equal. The equality comes from the idea that life is a
    learning journey and all journeys are equal. It is a broader perspective based on the view of
    humanity with each person experiencing what they need to learn in this life. We all know in
    this world that none of us are born equal if you are going to measure us by looks, or weight,
    or what we have or where we live.  In Company Y happiness exists as the highest goal.
    Can you see how that is possible? Can you feel how your mind and body can relax in this

    kind of company and how you would feel inspired and motivated to contribute? Can you
    sense how much more fun it would be because you really want to share working together
    and doing good things to create a better world?
    What is the feeling of being in Company X vs. what it would feel like to work in Company Y
    where you are appreciated? Put yourself in Company X for a minute….isn’t it a feeling of
    fear? Don’t you feel threatened or on guard? OK, now put yourself in Company Y, the
    positive Y system. This system is about freedom, happiness, learning, camaraderie, humor,
    team work, respect, sharing, etc. Which Company do you feel like working for?  Which
    system do you feel do you want to model in your home?
    If you are interested in learning more about how you think and what system you model, join
    us for training or at a meet up.

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Contact US

Emotionology
Littleton, CO 80210
Ste 127 PMB # 156
Lakewood, CO 80226

Mary Hallgren MBA, MCC
720-301-0377